It's been years since i updated. First, HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D

Days in 2011 had been tough but i enjoyed my days. Especially days that i actually met many many friends. Friends that i can talk to... Thank you for being there for me, whenever i need it. Though ur responses wont be as quickly as it is, but still, u guys are still there for me. Seriously glad to have all of you with me.

I failed my macroecons. How sad it is.. I got to retake it this sem alone. Sigh.. ALONE..That's the scariest thing for me.Doing things alone.. sigh... anw i going to say bye! :D

Goodnight.

Hoping that i have more income now.. So i can go on a getaway to Bintan.. :D Who is willing to sponsor me?! :D

There are times i really dun understand what is going on.. Why can a person that i love and care so much, make such remarks? F.. When i heard it, i was like O.O.. What is going on.. What is wrong?? Is it so difficult to compromise and help out when others need help? "I ought to get my rest, as i had contributed so much and put in so much effort in it! " The expression and emotions between us was... >.<" What is seriously wrong with U!???

Yes, this may not concern you, but compromising alittle is so freaking difficult for u? WTF! So angry.. I feel useless that i cant contribute anything, and i can't help but by sitting at the side, seeing how you want it to get going. I pity you. But seriously, if you are not helping, then LEAVE! Dun be bothered! sigh.. Yes, you may dote me to a certain extent, but what i really hoped to see is, you can treat my family and i better, by helping and compromising. Not pushing blames and responsibilities to others. Sigh... What a night..

I woke up at 6am this morning. Preparing for work at Pasir Ris which starts at 8am. I managed to reach there by 8am, with Macdonald breakfast ready. Finished eating everything, and work started at 830am. It's a boring day, but lucky i have Meixin and Joelyn! :D A few hours later, it began to rain. Cold weather, so nice, so nice to sleep! haha. The three of us, had a great working day i suppose. :D Happy.. :) Hopefully... ahh.. nothing haha.

I want a getaway.. Really a short getaway.. Feeling so stress and burden with money issues. I suppose this week, i got to starve again, in order to be able to attend Deng Hang's farewell party. I will limit myself with $16 for this week. You think it's possible? I hope so.. I need to save up for the upcoming wedding dinner. B's friends are giving an ang bao of $$$, and i think that it may take me a month to save? Hopefully i am able to save..Even my pay for a month, is not enough. How i wish that money can really drop from the sky. HAHA! If not my stock market millionaire to be realistic!

A getaway will be hard this time round.. Wedding dinner is a must to attend. Whereas getaway can push back.. I believe this is what he will think? Sigh.. No money, nothing can be done. At the same time, money cannot buy everything.

sign out (What a day..)

After so many days of doting.. I felt the love and the care that I similarly wanted. But is all those fake love and care? Or are those imaginary love and care? 

During happy times, I felt so happy.. Really flying in the sky.. But when it comes to gaming, everything seems to be thrown away. My heart seems to be torn apart. It's not painful, but feel with alot of disappointments. In the first place, why will I even feel and think like this? 

Last night, I fell asleep at 2am.. Slept till 430am.. And woke up. Can't sleep any further. Felt so disturbed.. Been flipping till 630am and I fell asleep. Soon, 645am my first alarm rang. Second alam rang at 720am. Third, rang at 735am. There goes my sleep. 

I received a SMS from B at about 708am. A msg that hoping to cheer me up? Purposely waking up in the morning to text me. What is his purpose? The feeling in me, was so fed up and messed up. Is that the min that he can do? 

I expected more from him: 
1.Come over and send me to school. 
2. Pick me up from school. 
I thought such actions mentioned above will be his doings. But I realized I am wrong. Should not pin High hope on him, and consequence is to fall badly on the ground. At least a SMS is better than nothing. I still give my minimum appreciations. 

"Choose not to come over, because if we break up, duno how to face my family" he said something like that before. Still breaks my heart when i think back. Skipping a saturday of his family dinner will kill him? Just to join in my family dinner for once will die? I have been receiving "rejects". Now, dinner changed to Sunday. Can u spare ur little time after work to come over for dinner? "no, dun wan. Will be tired and it's late" 


As I typed all these, my mind is filled with what had happen last night. "Gaming" I chose not to meet B today is because I am really in a foul mood. Because I am feeling terribly angry and upset. Can I reject ur calls for my shows/dramas? I can give up watching tv/ doing my school work just to talk to u for that short moment. But this doesn't applies to him. 

Sign out( unhappy from last night)

Suddenly i have mood to blog today... It's been a busy month of July. School started and everything.. Especially assignments are a headache to me.. Having a lot of problems with my own assignments.. I felt that i am a grown up now. I can dun depend on my boy any further. Finally i realized that studies is more important than anything.. Especially when it comes to relationship. I am happy and glad that i had bronson as mine. He is mature and understands my situation, by putting himself in me. Always thinking and learning to care for me, more and more.. I am falling in love with him.. Deeper and deeper.. These days, i felt so warm... so loved.. I wonder why... His little actions made me change his image in me. I start to see hope for the future.. And no longer a pitch dark patch, no idea on how to continue my pavement.

I had been spending money.. On necessary stuffs... How i wish i can have a full time job, therefore i can work and earn money.. Not enough allowance can kill me.. $70 per week, as a young adult/teen like me, its not enough.. Even brother took $80 per week. Bias.. Sigh.. I have 6 days of school, while he has 5 days of school. What a "nice" treatment is this.. Maybe i shall turn back into the old Patricia, on how to save money.. Not eating breakfast, lunch.. But dinner. Good Idea?? Dinner home.. Breakfast and Lunch, dun spend money.. Really wonder, how much will i be able to save?

Assignments are finally over! :D haha.. I can rest for tonight, and start my revisions? I hope i will and i would.. haha..

goodnight..
signout (loved..:))

05 July 2011: Today is the second day of school! That ang mo lecturer of mine was "fantastic"! I guess i just need some time to adapt. :) Anw, The group problem had finally settled! :D YEAH! I cried and she cried... Let's see who cry longer.. LOL! haha. Just kidding. So stressful and pressurized by them, trying to persuade me to stay in the group. This may allow them to make use of me more, and they can slack all the way again?~ Dare not think that way.. If not, some happen to read my blog, i will be doom dead! 

03 July 2011: I miss you.. And i really do... I was working at BPP with amanda and liang liang for UOB roadshow. Had a great time catching up with amanda.. :) Working from 11am to 5pm, it isn't a tired job. I enjoyed it because i have my friend with me. Went for a macdonald Lunch and i got the cup! :D YEAH! haha.. My bebe liked that cup, and i gave it to him.. After work, i went down to lucky plaza to wait for him. Simply slept for the whole journey. Although the job may not be a tired one, but i am physically tired from lack of sleep. I miss my bebe, hence i made a trip down.. Went to ION mall and bought my beijin kao ya! heehee and old chang kee followed by 7-11's big gulp! Went up, and sat inside the shop eating happily, seeing my boy working, talking to his working mates was a joy. Simply, that kinda feeling, its like a friend that can talk everything and can be crazy with everything and anything. Sadly, they treated me like a kid. Cause i am still young! =.="

Many many gossips about our BFs haha.. Complaining here, acting there.. haha. It's really funny and fun. I enjoyed my times talking to them. Really i do. I hope to have met such friends in my current school. Sadly, i don't. Dinner was KFC! haha.. All fried food for today! Tmr i am not going to take any fried food! :D

Been having dilemma theses days, whether to change my group for class or not. Been working with the current group for the past 3 semesters. Working with them maybe tedious, but the after results are acceptable and i am happy with it. I am pretty used to work with them, but there are too many quarrels, arguments and nasty comments about one another. This is something which i really dislike. Especially, one claiming all the credits to him/ herself. Not trying to emphasize who is it. Many unhappiness started to build/ stack up. We only can complain to ourselves and not speak up. Simply we know that, it will cause chaos! Hais...

I feel guilty to be the one breaking the group up, as i am having intentions to leave the group and it is close to a conclusion. Everything came stopping me to change group again. One of my current team mate had decided to change group too. And he literally going to give " a slap" on my other team mates face, as it was so last minute. If my current team mate and i left the group, the group will be left with 3 ppl. Which is unable to create a group, due to lack of team members. This is where i am shaking.. Thinking and worrying that, tmr my other team mates will persuade and stop me from leaving the group. I feel that, i am not needed in this group any further, except for the final report, i got to edit everyone's language. Even commenting on one's work is poorly written is also forbidden. Got spank and slap back on my face for commenting that. Hais.. Thinking that, why can't he/she admit that it is really poorly written? Anyway, everything should be over soon. I won't stop myself from contacting and being friend with my current team mates, even if i change group. Because i know that, we had been through highs and lows together as one? Hopefully its one. haha.

Gotta go.. Class starts at 830am
sign out( dilemma *hais*)